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don't rely on me.
i'm your soul.



A.O.Z.Y does not belong to here
no one can understand me, so don't bother to understand me then.
I'm utterly dead, and won't be revive.
no one is here to save.

Desires

tops & bottoms
HP


hearts talking.



alternative exits.

Amanda
nana :D
my friend
my puppy

my days, not yours.

December 2006
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
May 2011
July 2011
March 2012

thank you.

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Hosts: x o x

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Okay, i shall post a long essay ( whatever you guys wanna call it ) before Monday arrives.

Let me recall last week what have i done.
Work, studies and chill out with a couple of my friends.
Doing dreadful work everyday is not an easy task, trust me, it's dreadful work!
Now i understand why Winnie said that hers is dreadful work.

Doing the same shit everyday over and over again, how good can it be? No doubt that I'm learning a lot of things apart from what i had learnt in school/internship, perhaps it's just human nature, want to learn new things but doesn't want to do the same shit everyday.

I'm one of them, never did i deny that i can't run away from human nature. lol
Let me think, what have i learnt from my cross training?
A lot, tons of things I'm still learning now, and i know that i can never learn in school but from my work only. Whatever it is, just hope that my cross training will goes smoothly.

Now, let's talk about FBMA.
I'm in the committee member as an administrative cooridnator, my responsiblity is much more compared to last time. Shall not talk about this in my blog, as i can't post much about FBMA because it's the truth there are a lot of things for me to do.

Then now, Y Camp in Decmember. I'm in the committee again. lol
Yeah guys, i know what you guys will be saying," anson, are you crazy? you are so fcuking busy with your studies, work and association and now you have a camp?! What the hell are you thinking?"
Oh please guys, give me a break okay?
It's my life, whatever i want to do, I'm free to do so, okay? Don't worry about me, who am i? I'm Anson Ong. Still remember we would always say this? Who am i? Then everyone will say, Anson Ong. LOL

Actually, i would love to know the reason behind it, why everytime when i said, " who am i " you guys will automatically said my name. Can i know the reason why it's me?

I did ask a couple of friends why it's my name? They would always said that because you are Anson Ong, a person who will fight back and protect your own friends no matter what.
Frankly speaking, how many more 10years will i have? No one will know, neither do i.

So live your life in your way and work hard towards your goals, i fight back doesn't mean I'm being demanding or whatever, it's our rights to fight for something we want and it's our rights to reason out with people, even though we do know the fact that people in reality are always unreasonable. Well, it's just human nature again :)

But no matter what, i would love to say a big THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart, because of you guys, always make me feel there is a meaning why I'm here.

Now, let's talk about my personal life.
Let me think, how's my personal life..~~ my mind is floating...lol
My personal life seems to be in a mess now?! LOL
Nope, my life now is so in an orderly manner! haha!

Sometimes meet up with my ex colleagues, meet up with friends and chill out, awesome.
What more can i expect?

Love life?
Nahh, give me a break from love life. LOL
What's so great about being in love?
I've been through several relationships too and i realised that being in a relationship is not only emotionally tired, physically too. ( please do not think about sex ) thanks.

Emotionally - referring to when there are quarrels between both of us, I'm the one who always coax my girlfriend 1st no matter what, though sometimes she's at fault instead me.
But have my ex-girlfriends ever thought of this? One day, i will tire doing it so. Feel tire doing it so doesn't mean i do not love her anymore, the reason why i doesn't want to do it anymore, because i jolly well know they would take it for granted.
This will eventually cause mentally breakdown, okay, maybe this is too much already. lol

Physically - It's the small details added together. ( It's up to individual how one sees it. )

So can anyone tell me, what's so great being in love?
Yes, i agreed the fact that being together with someone you love is really a great feeling, you can never ever find the same feeling from another person. So people, can anyone tell me why does people get attached and after awhile, they break up? Okay, maybe not awhile, maybe 5 or 6years later.
Or maybe, get attach to a person that you love a lot and the person love you back thus get marry and starts a happy family? Yes, it's awesome to starts a family with someone you love. But have you ever thought that one day both of you might divorce after 10years? or maybe 20 years?

It's a matter of fact that being human beings, it's just human nature always want to look for something exciting,fun and new, it's just how good are you able to cover it up.
And yes, i agreed that there are couples on this earth really love each other and able to walk through the life journey hand in hand till the end. But how many couples are able to do so?
Out of 100 couples, how many can be like that? No one knows.

If you and your husband able to do so, I'm more happy than anyone else.
Like i said, how many 10years can one have? Able to walk your life journey with someone you love is not an easy task, neither difficult.

Now you guys should know why i do not want to step into a relationship ever since the last one i had, yes, i did woo a few girls, but failed. Oh well, who doesn't? Failure doesn't mean anything, either the person doesn't deserve my love or the person doesn't appreciate my love.

Being rejected doesn't mean anything, come on guys, if i have to keep look back on those girls who rejected me, i would have a super miserable life by now.
Yes, when i was rejected by someone, i do feel a little sad, but how long would it take? Oh well, you guys know me well, you will know i will take how long. Sometimes maybe even just a day, because like what i said before, if i have to take a long time, i would have a miserable life now instead so carefree.

Now i understand why Winnie is thinking in that way, i would not say i totally understand her or really know her that well, perhaps we have the same mindset that's why i said that i understand her.

Now talking about her, i suddenly remember that day we went out for dinner, we did chat a lot, and surprisingly, I'm really surprised that day when i met up with her, why i felt that i grew up a lot just an overnight? Like adding 10years to my current age?
Perhaps it's the truth that when one steps into a working society, one will change.

The thoughts had changed, the way how i communicate with people had changed, the people i met and how i approach had changed, the way how i deal with different people also had changed.
Cut to the point - I've changed.

Change to a better one or a worse one, also up to individual how one sees me.
Anyway, can't be bother with whoever looking at me now.
That's just me.
I have never failed to give people the 1st impression of me - that's just me.

Bye peeps, I'm gonna have a long week before the next post.


♥ 7:40 PM


Saturday, August 14, 2010

it's been ages since the last time i came in and blog.
having my class now, but seriously, totally can't understand what is my Prof talking about -.-"
not only me, but my classmates too.
anyway, shall not talk about my class, 2 more months and i'm done with my school. :)


been busy with work recently, cross training now, damm :(
though i'm getting permenently off on weekends, but then this cross training is so not my type, even Kate asked me that whether i can anot, and i still tell her of course i cannot :(
instead doing ops now, i'm doing cooridnator now :(
PAPERWORK!
die!
lol

everyday i'm sitting down in front of the computer to do my paperwork.
i'm so not a desk bound person okie? lol


yesterday met up with winnie for dinner, and i was late due to my work! thanks man!
everything need to thanks to my work. lol
somemore she texted me at 6pm to remind me to faster do my work!
bloody hell, at 6.30pm i was still at the sales office to wait for the amendment BEO, and when i return to my office, it was already 7pm! and winnie actually was about to leave her office!
what the hell right?!

LOL
when i'm done, i called her, she was walking around, so i just told her lets just meet at control station la.
when we met up, it was just so funny, i'm still busy with my work, still texting my boss about this and that.


when finally i'm not busy, we started talking, about how's your job so far etc and how's my work etc. took the train down to bedok for thai food, okie, the thai food not bad, and i was busy playing the game she intro me and she ordered the food by herself, lol.
i'm just being gentleman okie? let her decide what's for dinner tonight. LOL
talk through out the dinner, alot or little?
can't really remember eh.
after which, slowly walk back, i asked her, you gonna walk home from bedok huh?
she said why leh?
i said that if you say walk, you better make sure you walk home.

LOL
then she said," if i say walk home, you will walk me back home too?"
then i'm like, i think so. lol
so she said,"okie, then we walk back home"
from bedok to simei!

1 hour and 30 minutes!
LOL
we chatted alot, and fighted alot too! lol >;(
i guess she feel another way towards me, not that kind of love etc.
as in my mentality.
throughout the journey while we were walking back, she was telling me about her work this and that, so i was so called telling her what can we do etc.
the reasons behind of all this.
didn't expect right? i would actually tell her this and that too, usually i was the one who always listen to her, now it's like the other way round, and both of us have more common topic to talk about.

no doubt that we are not meeting as often as we used to, but whenever we meet up, there are still alot of things we can talk about.
and yesterday when i walked her home, really, we talked alot and she hit me with her hand and bag!

what the hell >;(
hit me because i did not go to the singfest
hello, it wasnt my fault okie? i was stucked with work!
and i told her you could have tell me you wanna go and i can just pass the tickets to you and you can go ahead with your friends! LOL

anyway, got to go, will update again when i have the time.


♥ 11:24 AM