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don't rely on me.
i'm your soul.



A.O.Z.Y does not belong to here
no one can understand me, so don't bother to understand me then.
I'm utterly dead, and won't be revive.
no one is here to save.

Desires

tops & bottoms
HP


hearts talking.



alternative exits.

Amanda
nana :D
my friend
my puppy

my days, not yours.

December 2006
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December 2009
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thank you.

Layout: Kary-yan/Missyan.
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Tuesday, August 26, 2008

nw free so squeeze some time out to blog, if nt i don tink i can find others time to blog till e end wk or nxt wk..tis wk e badminton tournament start liao..wee wee, gonna last till e end of this wk, mayb even nxt wk..for e past few days, lots of funny things happen man..haha...me, christ, rachel n **....wahahahaha.....laugh like hell at everywhere n anytime man...i'm so in a dangerous position lor..might anytime will kena something..LOL...
today on e way back hm with rachel, she tell me something, which is i find it wat she said does make sense..mayb i sld listen to her..=)
suddenly thought of something tat wheneva i tink of it, i will find it funny n i will always hav a smile on my face wheneva e matter is hangin it in my mind...guys out there, u will nv noe wat i'm thinkin abt tis matter, i tink onli cy n anson noe abt it..LOL..wahahahaha...
something will make my mood happy for e whole day n smile e whole day even if my mood is bad..=) something that is sweet n ~~~~~~
no matter wat, always take my words for real my frzs out there. u guys willl nv noe wat i'm doin n thinkin, wateva i sae nw, r all the truth. take my words seriously now..=)

Quoted to share
"Everthing happens for a reason"
"If u ever get a 2nd chance, grab it with ur both hands"
"Cherish the people around u, coz u won't noe when e people will leave before u"


10:39 PM


Saturday, August 23, 2008

busy 4 e past few days......ytd fri, had our 1st match..wahahahahahaha..ytd, team 2 double win so i no nid to play..LOL...but den nxt wk, i'm gonna die, coz frm mon to fri everyday gt match.. last min thurs gt match..thurs wan can die liao..mornin 9.30am starts match..e rest r all 2.30pm..nxt wk mon match is super super super super STUPID & FUNNY coz is CW1 VS CW2... LOL....CW1 is peiyan's grp, CW2 is my grp..LOL..is our own team play with our own team.. me n chenhong laugh till hell when we noe tt we will b playin with ourselves. Anyhow play oso can play liao..LOL..haha..
this few days after e badminton, we keep go jurong east n drink coconut...wahahahaha...is a trend within all of us..LOLLLL..but ytd chirstina n chenhong gt join us..=) we drink e coconut till we laugh...coz e coconut is veri hard to peel it off..all of us peel till e spoon break..LOLLLL... haha..den after tt we send chenhong go bus-stop den me n chirstina take train back hm...
super super super tire ytd....reach hm ard 7plus....
today, goin out soon..to TigerLIVE..wat is tt?i oso dunno..haha..den at nite meetin cy, gonna stay out late tonight..=) gtg will update more when i'm free


11:17 AM


Wednesday, August 20, 2008

finally back to bloggin liao...=) after so-called MIA a few days..haha..almost a wk man..many things happened within tis wk..happy n sad de all hav...LOl...haha..
this few days head pain, here pain n tere pain....esp after last fri till nw, haven slp man..is super shag liao..realli gg to faint man..LOL..haha..tis few days bz with exams...gg holiday soon...n i'm gonna chiong chiong 4 wrk liao..OMG..e wrk is gonna totally no off days n no leave, so after e wrk, i will super super super shag..haha..n e pro is, b4 e wrk, i'm gonna spend most of time outside, durin e wrk, no nid to see de la, confirm oso outside, after e wrk period, i die. last day of wrk might b Oct 2. Sch reopen at Oct 6. So durin this 4days, i will b oso outside stayin every where...LOL..wat e..haha..ok, so cut short to sae, e start of my holiday till e end of my holiday, i will b outside most of e time, but of course i will oso come hm de la..haha..wont run away frm my hm de la..LOL....so sorri to sae to u guys, tat some of u guys's birthday fall on Sept, i wont b able to celebrate with u all, coz i'm gonna hav lots of stuffs to do, unless u guys wanna celebrate in e nite, n i promise i will go k..?=)juz giv me place n time n i will go..=)

Quote to shared
"Time is precious. treasure the time & treasure ur friendship"


10:48 PM


Tuesday, August 12, 2008

today in sch do nth..................talk craps n sing songs..LOL..today super super do nth in sch..1st time man..nth till...........~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i've been talkin to amanda abt 1 matter which is veri weird n funny wan...but den we juz dunno how to sae e word out..funny funny funny.............juz dunno how to sae...n thxs to her, i've been dreamin e same dream...if tis dream i'm gonna continue a few more days...ah huh..i'm gonna slap her man..LOL..haha...tis is wat she always sae wanna slap..LOL...
weddin weddin weddin weddin weddin....hope i will see more weddings..=) it means that tere r more n more couples gettin tgt..=) even though they might nt b tgt 4eva, but at least they love each other once deeply b4..=) no one knows e future, so cherish e ones ard u...


5:57 PM


Monday, August 11, 2008

nw at hm bloggin, later gg out to CWP...with xin...this mornin wake up super early, but ytd din slp much, ard 5plus den slp n 7plus mornin wake up....isnt it siao?juz 2hrs of slp..LOL...mayb even lesser den tt...
bocz of amanda, i've been dreamin e same dream 4 this past few days..it realli frighten me out man....n i'm so shock man...LOL...
my heart is gettin more pain, due to......nt R/S but i dunno wat is e name 4 it
gonna see doc soon, (i'm nt too sure when i'm gg to see, unlimited of postpone)
i think i sld seriously think carefully man..................................................something which is goin happen on me, but i hope it wont b so fast, if nt i don even noe wat to do...


2:19 PM


Sunday, August 10, 2008

NO NO NO NO NO red wines 4 me anymore................................................................... i'm gonna suffer bcoz of e red wine......LOL..if u guys see me drink red wine nxt time juz giv me a slap or take away e glass...do wateva u can do to stop me frm takin red wine...!!!! but is ok 4 me to take a small sip..but nt e whole glass or even a bottle..
i'm havin a fever liao...see stars in e day see stars in e nite too...LOL..
mood is veri bad, dont feel like talkin or wateva wateva this few days..
realised tat something weird is happenin
feelin something went wrong
realised tat something did goes wrong
feelin is nt veri gd...wateva
i noe this time my mood n everything had turned upside down
fcukin damn in a BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD MOOD.
my mind is in a ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i'm gonna faint, wateva wateva wateva
wed, fri n sat wrkin ---->juz wanna tire myself out
tues n thurs badminton---->tryin to do some wrk out hope i will feel better
mon n sun bz ---> due to, (secret)


11:11 PM


Saturday, August 9, 2008

i'm veri veri veri tire.....!!!!!!!nw at hm bloggin, gonna goin out later..=) super freakin tirin out myself..ytd went to attend a weddin dinner, e bride is pretty, e groom is handsome..din realise Calvin changed alot..went tere, i drank red wine..lots of red wine.............makin myself alr so..... even b4 i reach e hotel, i almsot fall asleep in e car..but i cant..coz of my hair..LOL..my eyes was like....-_- i was frighten awake man..due to e driver, who is my sister, hav a sudden brake.....
bcoz of e stupid in front car.
saw alot of our relatives at e weddin dinner, saw 1st,2nd n 3rd uncle. Saw 4th twin sister(auntie), n 5th auntie.....lots of my relatives..saw yanqing too..did talk awhile to catch up e old times..LOL.. saw yanfen's bb, play wif him..he is so so so CUTE...haha...
as usual, e uncles simply juz love me lots lots lots n even lots...coz they wld always sae e same sentence wheneva they see me,"e older u r, e more u look like ur father" always e same sentence tat i can even rmb it too..but it's e truth, i'm more n more look like my father...i tink onli cy noe abt it ba..13yrs of frzship, noe everything of mine..even e seh oso looks like...LOL..tis is wat uncle yongyou always sae..wheneva he sees me...
e weddin overall. is gd...=)
like wat i said long time ago, when i'm wrkin at e St.Regis, e weddin diner is sweet n makin myself wanna get married too..nt onli me, amanda too, n e others who r wrkin on tat day..a few oso told me they wanna get married too, but i juz cant rmb their names..hehe..
ytd on e way to CWP, amanda n i talked alot..talk till,, something is weird n funny n awkward, rather den sayin awkward i wld sae e awkwardness is nt at tere alr, but i juz cant another word to replace it..will tink wat is e word again..
durin e weddin dinner, i n amanda msgin, something funny had happened, halfway msgin..haha.. something abt............................is a secret..LOL..


3:39 PM


Sunday, August 3, 2008

e past 2days, i've e same dream...........same dream n hav same scenario...sld i sae scary or sweet...???LOL...luckily i onli slp 1-2hrs nia..if nt i comfirm will sae scary though e dream might sweet..LOL...tis few days, as usual, nt enough slp at all...confirm gonna collaspe soon liao..n i'm sick too..tht of goin to see doc today..but den, 1st, i'm lazy, 2nd, i'm too tire to walk ard liao, 3rd, juz simply don wanna see doc..=D hahahaha...
dunno frm how long i sae wan2 see doc see till nw i totally nv go see man.....check up time is up liao..but oso din go..LOL...come to think again, i think my last check up was mar..LOL..so long liao lor..b4 i starts sch man...my holiday is comin liao..mayb i shall go see doc durin my holiday..? lol..i wun go de..wahahahahaha...my holiday i'm even more busier..LOL..so conclusion, no nid go see doc le la..juz let my sickness, illness wateva ness alone la..LOL...don care my sick le la..sick oso like tt, nv sick oso like tt....see when i will realli faint la..LOLs.......
i dunno sld i sae i'm sick is gd or bad..?bad is b'coz i'm alr veri veri veri veri tired alr n nw i'm sick, it's e truth tat i will anytime i wll collaspe..gd is b'coz i'm sick, n i'm nw tirin out myself, my mind wld nt b able think of any stuffs......my mind wld onli b a dizzy mood..it's e truth..tis few days, i dunno wat i'm talkin alr when i on hp with my frzs..LOL..
my head is veri dizzy......ytd i was on hp with Sam, talk till i swear i realli dunno wat i talk man..
he tht i was playin with him, but realli la, i realli dunno wat i'm talkin liao..talk to wenwen oso anyhow talk...i can realli sae i'm alr ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


1:17 PM


Saturday, August 2, 2008

请不要分了以後 
还记得 亲吻过的承诺你的永久 
已不属於我 默默低头 
那时我很多 
话哽在喉咙 你的笑你的快乐 
或许我爱太多想太多我能感受 
他比我适合 爱放了手 
我伪装冷漠 
比你先说分手
请原谅我  原谅我不成熟不爱你是藉口 
好让你离开我
请原谅我 
好想自私将你占有
你的寂寞就给我承受 换你过更好的生活

爱过恨过哭过也笑过
亲吻过你的脆弱 其实我比谁都要懦弱
原谅我 
必须假装爱错 别让时间逗留 
我怕说不出口
原谅我 没有解释太心痛 别无所求 
彻底忘了我 爱原来有舍得
我爱过 我才懂

I love this song alot..this song has a description of how a person love another too much tat he/she will leave e person..previously, i had blogged alr, whether u will leave e person if u realli lov him/her if he/she found a better person. This song perfectly suits e description i had written in here earlier. Sayin i'm selfish, y nt put it in tis way, tat e person will feel more happiness when he/she found a person better den me. In R/S, there is no right or wrong, it takes 2 hands to clap, isnt it..?U may sae i'm wrong if i put it in tis way, but to me, i will feel it in tis way.
Everbody had different views abt R/S or Love, nt eveyone had e same thinkin like me. JuZ listen to e song, n u'll noe wat i mean.


9:15 PM



finally did something to my blog different le..last time always cy help me do..nw i do myself..but to me, is nt gd enough yet..will do more changes when i've more time..=)
today is e 1st day of Ghost Festival......~~~~let's welcome e others to here..=))
today in sch we hav our service..e lecturers sure noe how to take their time man...we wait n wait n wait till ard 2plus they den leave..wat e FCUK man..mood was super bad today..everyone can see it..did tried to hold my temper down alr..i din mean it to show my temper or my mood out, but i'm juz simply PISSED OFF WITH SOMEONE IN MY CLASS, NOT ONLY ME BUT THE OTHERS TOO...FCUK THE PERSON OFF MAN..is so obvious...
today in e mornin, i was alr quite pissed off wat Rachel had told me..
The person i'm sayin in here is so OBVIOUS alr..i wont write the name in here, coz to me, he's a stranger alr & NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO BE MY FRIEND ANYMORE.
P.S: He doesn't even deserve to be a stranger of mine
When i gt to noe him, he was a gd n kind guy. But nw to me, he's nt anymore. DAMN IT, MY EYES ARE REALLY BLIND BLIND BLIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Should have slap myself man..MAKING MYSELF LIKE AN IDIOT
When he gt cheated by Emi, i side him no matter wat, yet nw..~~~ i hav no comments on him man. I cant even think of any words to describe him. The thinkin of him, makes my blood boil..!!
He's e 2nd guy who can really trigger me. But i'm glad my temper nw, i can control, if nt something will happen.
The 1st guy who really trigger me, had tasted my fists. The guy is a FCUKING GUY.
U guys may sae i'm cold-blooded or wateva u guys can come up with, i admit. I'm this kind of person. I can really treat a person as a stranger if i noe he/she doesnt deserve to b my frz.
And e person wont even b my Hi-Bye frz
I don like to be wishy-washy person. People who noe me 4 a veri veri long time like 5yrs n above, they noe me well. They noe i'm a person who shows out all my emotions if i'm angry or happy. I'm nt a person who is good in actin, P.S: i'm nt born to be a actor or to be a liar
I hav to admit tat, if i'm angry, i can onli sae sorry to my frzs surroundin me, coz i will oso juz vent my fustrations on them, i will try to make some changes in tis..to stop ventin onto my frzs. I din wan to turn out in tis way, but is juz veri hard to control my temper esp when i'm veri angry. So e nxt person who always talk to me will kena by me, tat's y wheneva i'm angry, i will always sae "don talk to me,i'm in a bad mood" tis is juz to prevent myself to vent my frustrations on them, they did nth wrong, but they r unlucky coz they talk to me when i'm in a bad mood..
Cy noes me well, she noe how bad my temper was in e past, but nw i swear i've really really tone down. Cy always sae don care don care la...ask me cool down, but to me, THIS GUY IS ANOTHER PERSON WHO IS SO FCUKING I'VE EVER SEEN.
I believe my mood will continuously be bad..but i will try to control it, i doesnt wan anything to happen in sch..my frzs had see my biggest changes nw..b4 ITE, they noe wat kind of person i am, wat kind of capable things i will do, ever since i stepped into ITE, i had changed alot, alot of things i hav change, even i myself don believe it,if u wanna turn me back like in e past, i can do it, anytime, anyplace. At e most, i juz quit sch, is nt as if i nv done tis b4, when i'm in sec sch, i sae quit n i mean it, is when chanel n jas they all keep talk to me n changed my mind, n i stayed.
If nw i quit, i don see a need y sld i stay?though study is sae gd 4 ur future, pls la...craps onli..
if i quit, nobody will b able to find me. And i mean it. Take my words. I'm serious
Like what i said earlier, Cy noes me inside out..she will read my mind n noe wat i will do
let's end here, i don wanna talk abt it anymore. It will onli makes me more angry


12:42 AM