okay, shall post a super long one before i start getting busy with Marina Bay Sands.
recently, there are so many things are running through in my mind.
for the past 2years, i realised something about myself.
okay, i know that i took a long time before i realised this, even though amanda has been reminding me till today.
yet now, i really regretted not listening her words/advice.
sometime, people take quite awhile before they realised about it.
sometime, people chose not to realise it.
sometime, people rely on their instincts, other days so long the decision you made makes you happy for that moment in life, so who cares the decision you made is wrong in others' perspective, so long the decision you made makes you feel happy.
i've been waiting for the decision ever since..
ever since i chose my way, i knew that it wouldn't be easy.
it's not that tough either.
sometimes, in my own world, i always ask myself this question, why do people like me chose the path we want?
it seems that we can't get an answer for it.
it's up to individual.
for me, my answer shall remain to myself.
no one knows the reason. ( maybe C.Y knows. )
there are times, i will think, just because of something, the person do not dare to cross over the line, so what will you feel?
sad?angry or depressed?
because you are being forced not to take the way you want to.
maybe because of family, because of friends or maybe because you do not know how to face the world when you chose this way as the world is still not open to the way we choose.
but does it matter?
why do people like to bother with those people that are making some noise when they themselves are imperfect too?
neither i'm perfect.
i took a long time before i'm able to let go/ can't be bothered with those people.
Lisa told me before that she's envy of me, i asked her why.
she said that why i'm able to lead such a carefree life?
the life i want, the way how i want to be and the way how i am.
i told her that, if i'm really going to be bothered with what people are talking behind my back, i will be living in a life that is going to make me very miserable.
but remember, now everything i have, does not come easily.
i reap what i sow.
i gained everything what i am, i did give up something too.
nothing is free in the world.
you have to give up something for another thing.
and it really took me a very long time before to be what i am now.
in the past, i'm a person who will be bothered with people's comments, now, i'm not.
there are times i will still though.
but it's a matter of thing how you see it.
whether do you want to change yourself for a better person or just remain as what you are now.
for me, i would choose to be a better person.
i'm not a perfect person, and in this world, there won't be a person is 100% perfect, why not try to be a perfect person then? ( that doesn't mean there isn't anyone who is a good person )
but it's not easy either.
it's hard to define whether is the person good or bad anyway.
what i'm trying to say in here, just live the life you want it to be, if you are going to restrict yourself in many ways, you are the one who is going to feel unhappy.
lead the way you want, live your life to the fullest and do not care the result but the process of it.
enjoy the moment in your life, do not turn back and look at your past, move forward and run for it. do not let anything/anyone slip off from you, grab it before it goes.
is there anyone able to do it?
i'm glad i'm able to do it, it's hard though, but i will try hard for it.