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don't rely on me.
i'm your soul.



A.O.Z.Y does not belong to here
no one can understand me, so don't bother to understand me then.
I'm utterly dead, and won't be revive.
no one is here to save.

Desires

tops & bottoms
HP


hearts talking.



alternative exits.

Amanda
nana :D
my friend
my puppy

my days, not yours.

December 2006
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
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June 2007
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September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
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July 2008
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October 2008
November 2008
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January 2009
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April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
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August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
May 2011
July 2011
March 2012

thank you.

Layout: Kary-yan/Missyan.
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Friday, October 16, 2009

going out soon after i blog finish =]
now what i'm going to blog, is my personal life
i am irrational in everything and lost in everything
well, this story i shall start on monday, 12 October 2009
the 1st day of my attachment

i promised kiddo that i will send her home after work, but i saw my sister in the train, in the end i did not send kiddo back, and i asked her to ask her boyfriend to send, and she did ask.
somehow i felt very down, i don't know why
i don't feel jealous but down.

then she messaged me after she alighted the train
and i replied back

and somehow that was when i really began my irrational
i tell her that i really want to send you home everyday, but i know i cannot be selfish because you have a boyfriend, and you should spend more time with him then me, can you just answer me whether can i send you home everyday, please don't tell me is up to me.

and she replied that i can send her home everyday
and i asked her again are you very sure?are you really very sure i can send everyday?you rather spend time with me?
and she replied she's very sure

then the following day, i start to blame on myself, why do i behave in this manner?why did i become so irrational?
and i really become very weird
i became very quiet, i don't know what to talk when i face her, i don't know what to do when i'm with her.
and that was when we really never hug so often and i did not kiss her so often too

then in the night she messaged me, i told her i'm surprised that she messaged me, because usually after i sent her home,she will message me
but that day she did not message
so i told her i thought you won't message me anymore

i began to be irrational
i really don't like the way how i behave now
and i do not want to be like that

and so i asked her are we still be able to remain the same after all these?
she asked me back do you want to remain the same?o.o

story to be continued....


9:55 AM