Okay, today is Christmas eve and i'm here blogging 1st, HAHA. Just came home from work, i'm really really very tire, did not sleep for the whole night, yesterday Fionna came to my house and do project, but in the end, i'm like sleeping?? Because i'm very very tire, and she was like also falling asleep? Then half way, i'm awake again, because i need to watch the show at 5pm, so i went to living room and watch while Fionna is still so-called sleeping in my room, but then my dog keep disturbing her so she was like not asleep, plus me also disturbing her, how to sleep?But she acted like she is sleeping, HAHA.
Then after that she came out accompany me watch television too, and ate some noodle, as the time passed, we talked alot of things, she got back with her guy again, while my side here is like very complicated, i told her about my 1st girlfriend this and that, because ailin told me that my 1st wanna get back to me, but nothing is gonna change my mind, like what i had said i really really hate LIARS, but you lied to me, if you never lie to me before, i can tell you now that i will really reconsider getting back with you, even though you cheated me before.
But you lied, i really hate LIARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Liars are my bottom line already.
After i told Fionna everything, including how i surprise my 1st, how sweet i treat her, ailin is the only person see everything, because whenever my 1st go out with me, ailin will come along, because ailin is my 1st's BFF.
I don't allow anyone to hurt my 1st, don't allow myself to make her cry, don't allow others to make her cry, protect her with all my ways & means, surprise her with stuffs that she wants but i always purposely don't buy for her but in the end i will buy for her and surprise her, and she feels happy and she was shocked.
Whenever she is unhappy or sad, i will allow her to scold me or "hit" me. When she cries, i will lend her my shoulder and cry together with her. When she is sad, i will think of alot of ideas to make her laugh, to make her smile everyday is my part of my job.
I have never raise my voice up in front of her, Never, not even once. Because i know that you are my everything, i don't allow myself to do anything that hurt you, including shoutings.
But in the end, what have you done? You know very well, i trusted you in everything what you did, i did not force you to report everything to me whatever you are doing, that's why i trusted you so so so so much, without any doubts. But you betrayed my trust, you deeply hurt me, deep inside of my heart.
I don't know what to say, just let it go can?